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What If?Love me?
I never really could understand why?
You tell me you love me but you left me standing there
I know you may never leave me but you wouldn't as a friend
There is more than what meets the eye when it comes to talking to you
I feel connected to you more than anyone else did
Maybe there was a gap?
Gap that wasn't there before
Drifting away like sea billows roll
Bridges are built but the gap will always be under it
Going the extra mile to give you what you deserved and more
That is my love for you
To give more than what you expected
Nevertheless, there are doubts
These doubts they fill my heart with "What Ifs?"
What if you stop thinking about me?
What if you stop caring for me?
What if you stop loving me?
I don't want think about the many possibilities can be
Don't fall into temptation and believe them
Don't over analysis things that you can't control over
I want to tell you "please stay, I don't want you to leave. I still an 'us' just don't...I...love..you.."
The tears f
There is a PlaceThere is a place
A special place, where plans are crashed and
Dreams come true
A place where
I would want to be forever
But I can't reach it
I see it everyday
I can't move closer
Because I am trapped
Trapped within my own memories
Moments of pain and suffering
Would it ever end?
I can't do this alone
But then you appear
With a smile on your face every time
Always wondered what made you happy
Till you told me
"I am happy because you make me happy."
You hugged me for a long time
What ran though my mind started to make sense
My pain and suffering was drifting away
There was someone who care enough
Someone who wanted to help
Someone that wants you feel a change from within
A place where
Plans are crashed while dreams blossom
That place was you
Why am I with you?"Why am I with you?"
A question you seem to ask a lot
Many answers can fall under
Was it your face?
The way you laugh?
How you look for the best of me?
Is it your personally?
The way that we are different in many ways but we still work it out
But yet on a deeper level are the same
Is it that I still love you?
Even when my heart is fill with anger or when I was just cranky
I still try to see though and think back to the girl that was so innocent
Beginnings were rough for us
You know that, I know that
It is good to have reminder once in a while that we still care to one another
But now I walk alone on this road of broken dreams
Where you used to walk beside me
Is now left is a shadow of a broken being
I look back to see if you were still there
But I know you move on, to a better life
I was just a stepping stone for you
I wish it didn't fall apart like this
I wish I could of turn back the clock to do it all over
But just this time do it
I am with you because I gave you joy and happiness i
Wait For MeDo you see the world in different colours ? Or do you see the world in black and grey?
Alone in your thoughts
How many others have stand where you are today?
Just wait for me now
A safe return is all I want
Break from all these chains
All these roads that I have taken led me to nowhere
Left me here standing at life's edge
There is just one thing left to ask, just wait for me
Broken mirrors can't hide from my shame
It has been years
Shattered into a million pieces
Wait for me there is still time
I haven't gotten back on my feet
I have hit rock bottom
The only way now is to go up
Please wait for me
But I will ask you once more,
Will you wait for me?
Only time could tell
Down into a deep spiral
There is no turning back
Just driving myself into a grave
Won't you wait for me?
Will there be a hand to save?
Or just turn a blind eye to my call?
And I shall wait for your answer
HomeA place where you feel the safest
A place where you feel most at ease from the world
A place where you can be your true self
But now, why does it feel of a place of pain and misery?
Place of no hope, in bitter darkness
Once you been through it, you don't want to come back
Once you left, this is what I have been feeling
When will it ever end?
A cold winter chill that drives through this place
You always said “I want to come back home” and every time it gave more a better sense of security
Patience can’t just come like that; there were many times I wanted to just give up on you
But what brings me back is I have hope that shines in me
Now I see you walking down the street having your head down, in your light blue jacket
It is like I haven't seen you in years but something was different
A vibe, a dark mysterious one I never seen this one before
I took a good look at you; your eyes seem dim like you lost something
Your natural glow you had is now slipping away
What Happened?We were once us but now me
You say you care but really you don't
I rather if you don't so that you can drift away like a memory
Now I am alone, walking alone in this cold world
Just move on, there are others that make me happy
So in a way I thank you for leaving
Thanks for making happier but it the days like this that I stop and want to go back
But how to go back when there is nothing there
You left and move on like nothing
Why should I care?
"If I lose you, I don't know what I would do"
I remember I said that and turns out to be true
You walk away, that's all she wrote
Don't just say goodbye when I never wanted to
Too bad that you felt miserable
Its sad one can be happy and the other can be feel not same
Was it the reason why we got into this relationship just to forget who we were chasing before?
Or wasn't that something needed to change with our lives?
I don't know, it happened within a blink of an eye
I didn't try hard enough or you gave up too easily?
Can't change anything that ha
Nothing to LoseThere's nothing to lose
When no one knows what you going through
There's nothing to gain
But the days don't seem to change
Deep in my heart
Its an endless spiral of pain
Don't you know what I am fighting for?
When it's not worth to go through all this pain
When you feel you are don't know where to go
When walking on the path on broken glass
Feel like that something from your life is drifting away
Is it worth to try pull it back?
It's just a slap to my face by reality
Slammed the door behind me
A dozen reasons ran through my mind
Standing there, crying
Wondering if it could have gone better?
All I need is a second chance
There is nothing else for me to lose
I already lost myself in my turmoil
What have I done? This is not what I planned
Now she is gone, I don't want to feel my heart is breaking
I have blood on my hands
Her blood, dripping...
Why why, this knife in my right hand and my left hand on her throat
Doing the one thing I would never do
Harm the one person I truly loved
Find AnewI look at myself everyday
To what has come to me
You at me, but truth won't lie
The scars that remain
It's time to move on
But it all starts in the heart
Can't understand the person I am
There is someone that can see who I am
Where I came from, where I am heading
Bus rides heading to university and going home
I want you to come and sit next to me
To see life as how I see
Alone I am not, with you my life will change again
When I first saw you, there in Waterloo
I didn’t have the chance to talk to you because you were with your friends and I was with mine
It was two years ago and I thought I would never see you again
Who knew that I would find you again
Being in the same city as me, for school
I feel I have something to look forward every time I am out there
You only a fifteen minute ride away
I can't say in love with you because I haven't really got to know you but I do like you
I hope I don't get in so deep and sink away
Lose myself in the process
I want to make you mine but I am
That One LetterDear lover...,
This is the one letter I couldn't send
It means too much for to hand it over
There isn't much for me to write because I am no writer
No fancy words, just the straight out truth
You still surprise me, even if I don't show it
I know we just can't be over
I can see it in your eyes, you haven't lost hope
As long I can still feel you are still holding on, I will keep trying
I know I am not perfect but I keep trying
That's what I said I will do from the start
One chance I have to make it right
If I miss it, it will be too late
Remember who you are and forget what people said about you
You are beautiful; don't let others say you are not
I won't let you fall, even when I am wrong
I always remember that you like hand-written letters
A letter had more emotion than a text or email because you can see the mistakes, the eraser marks
The emotion is true in each word I write
I don't want you to fade away like everyone else has, I don't want to wake up one morning and realize that you a
Quietly, GentlyShy smiles and fluttering butterflies,
My heart would beat faster when I looked into your eyes.
Even then, as I held you warmly in my arms,
Every word you said put me under your charm.
Dozing off, I sent you a little smile.
And told you that it’s fine to fall asleep for a while.
When you awoke, the sun was setting for its own time to sleep.
So I pulled you close and breathed in so deep.
Quietly, in the dark, I slowly fell in love.
Gently in my arms, I called you my little dove.
learning to hear the unspokeni hear your pencil
drag atop the paper
and subtle breaths drawn.
i wonder, as i
let my mind wander
down winding paths
and through lonely fields.
trees are barren.
the frost nips at your heels
when you walk too slow.
every release from my
looks like smoke.
i hesitate to speak,
afraid the words will waft away
never reaching the crook of your neck
where i want them to nest.
"i love you," is all i can muster -
never feeling it weighs enough.
i imagine a tongue
i pretend that my heart
is full of profound
unheard by angel,
my head is wrapped
in thick fog;
though, i fancy it with feathers
through a bright, moonlit summer's eve.
it's clear amongst cloudless skies.
here we travel freely, unafraid,
our souls speak.
no words will ever be enough.
Music is throughSoft keys give way to your feather light fingers
Paper-thin cuts rock and ivory like half-molten butter
(you and the barely-there tap of your nails, the eerie clicks that do not echo but nonetheless linger)
convince it to sound like
a voluntary death, a willing surrender,
instead of mere sweet murder
Perhaps you have put this same spell over me
You’d play; I’d listen,
Sitting enchanted and near enough to see how the light breaks on your hair the same way your fingers build and break,
Create and abandon
Cherish and spurn like overstrained lovers
Your favourite was the fresh twitter of staccato notes
Mine, the release of the pedal, the steady thump of a beating heart
Broken Hearts Still BeatingThe lightning-spliced sky illuminates my bedroom
and I'm crouched in the corner, embraced by the dark,
thinking of how there could have been a chance
for me to wake up next to you, your emerald eyes
webbed with emotion, your body limp
from jerking in your sleep. I imagine ruffled sheets,
broken lamps, and permeating heat.
I think of how we could have jogged together
along roadsides and doubled over with thorns
in our ribs at your feeble attempts to whistle Dixie.
I'm collapsing inward, reminiscing on the truths
I should have told you and how every boy I pass
has your face, your dark brown hair, your lips.
And I cry. Oh, do I cry.
I saw you hunched over one day, exhausted
from nightmares, sipping Gatorade and reciting
poetry about there being beauty in decay,
and I couldn't help but think that you
were living proof of that phenomenon.
I wanted to cry for you and tell you about that time
a lady ran into me at Barnes & Noble and I'd had
no earthly idea that I was alive until she turned ar
there is a familiarity to the winds of winter,there is a familiarity to the winds of winter,
as, after all, it is the starting point.
within the aching chill, i have always
struggled as i sought for warmth.
i spent the better portions of my year
looking beneath creaking chairs
and peering into darkened rooms,
always searching for something to
keep me warm.
i thought i could find solace under
an afghan. the thickened skin of the
blanket took place of my own,
frail and paperlike, peeling away
like mache at any sight of the winds.
but the afghan, i learned was no
shield for my broken body.
the holes skipped in the stitching
gave way. they say they're
supposed to let you breathe,
afghans, but i was asking to suffocate.
i did not want air rushing into
my lungs, inflating me only to
dissipate with time. no, i did not want
that, the chill of the air to sting
my throat as it went down, down,
down,down into my very core.
i was asking to suffocate.
i wanted to burn up. i wanted
to be consumed by something.
the whole of which would surround
To Fly in FireSinking deeper in a sea of nothing,
With night’s darkness as my dawn.
Questions requiring no answers,
And satisfaction found in the wrong.
Tears shed not like the inkwell,
Far overused by this rotting quill.
Is this the seed of strength and vigor,
Or closing distance with my rancor?
I hear the still damp match ignited,
Rekindling my flame of envy.
The drowned piece of wood below,
Was kept remembered after all.
So the wind I soared these wings with,
Were nothing but mere, fake glimpses.
What unkindly surrenders to the glutton,
That keeps me earth-bound along with it.
Flashes of fears of weakly faltering,
Dread my dreams with eyes unclosed.
But this tattered soul knows too well,
The day’s yet to exist when I can let go.
i am the bird with the broken wingAnd this is how the story goes
There is no high in these winter lows
The love that left me has faded away
My tears blur the night into day
For I am the bird with the broken wings
Who has fallen behind the flock,
Now I have fallen by the way side.
With no one to pick me up.
The love that left me died in my arms,
Now things are all messed up.
I am floating beneath the water,
But I cannot get back up.
The silence floats around me,
Where there used to be your voice.
I reach out in the dark,
Hoping for your touch.
All there is, is empty sheets,
A reminder of my loss.
I shudder at what my life has become,
Fragments of glass spread around the floor,
I cut myself trying to pick the pieces up.
But this is how my story goes,
There was no high in my winter lows.
The love I lost hurt too much,
Now there is no night, there is no day.
The Dream GuardianA beauty- in her own world
Roaming… a blue jay between two skies
Freedom carved in the feathers of her wings
Her name was sung and played on strings
Country folks knit stories about her
The savior of dreamers upon clouds
Rainbow paths to get them laughing
Paints and brushes in her hands
Wonder is what her colors do
Creates new music in the air
Paints the sky a brilliant blue
Daisies seem a fresher white
Weaving dreams in brighter hues
Gaze around your vivid nights
Whispering her precious myths
Incandescent, intensely bright
One violet star –the nomad, through
I Can't Sleep.Jealousy overtakes me
To the point where I can’t breathe
But I don’t want to breathe
I’m filled with hate
And I don’t want to be
But I am
And it helps me breathe.
My love is the fuel
To this fire
And for the sake of love
Get me to see the truth
I know the truth
But I can’t think
Emotions never cared about logic
I scream to myself
It has to be me
No one else can help me
I’m stuck in denial
Like a paradox
Now I think I’m okay
But I’m not.
Why can’t I see what you mean?
Why can’t I hear your words?
Why can’t I believe?
Open my eyes…
Make me breathe
In your words
And forget my own
I say to myself.
Right NowI remember how it all started
It was a quiet December day like today
That turn into something that I never would expected
But it feels bittersweet knowing it's gone
Or feels like how a child is lost in the big world out there
Just an empty feeling
People say love is a drug
From the start to finish
A high that everything is perfect or nothing can go wrong
But when it is gone, you feel the withdraw symptoms that won't go away
But no I'm just taking it in
Out the window of my apartment bedroom again
Tomorrow I'll be gone I don't know when I'll be back
But in this world everything can change just like that
Caught up in everyday life
Doesn't seem like nobody cares
Walking out seems like the only option
No one will miss me right?
Find myself somewhere else because home ain't what it used to be
Mom and Dad were fighting about everything
From dishes to who is looking after the child I had
I didn't know what to do
But no I'm taking it in
Out the window of my apartment bedroom again
The T.V is o
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More