Sta.sh
Dear lover...,
This is the one letter I couldn't send
It means too much for to hand it over
There isn't much for me to write because I am no writer
No fancy words, just the straight out truth
You still surprise me, even if I don't show it
I know we just can't be over
I can see it in your eyes, you haven't lost hope
As long I can still feel you are still holding on, I will keep trying
I know I am not perfect but I keep trying
That's what I said I will do from the start
One chance I have to make it right
If I miss it, it will be too late
Remember who you are and forget what people said about you
You are beautiful; don't let others say you are not
I won't let you fall, even when I am wrong
I always remember that you like hand-written letters
A letter had more emotion than a text or email because you can see the mistakes, the eraser marks
The emotion is true in each word I write
I don't want you to fade away like everyone else has, I don't want to wake up one morning and realize that you are gone
The fear that I am afraid of the most
Amazing how we did make this far but yet is it falling?
From long hugs to long walks on the beach
Days in the parks, nightfalls watching the stars
Each time you cried your heart out, it tear me down
And now when your friends say your name, I cry a little 'cause I am not there
But let this been my true colours
Walking from your apartment one last time, I never sang a song to you
I sang my heart out walking down your hallway
I know you will couldn't hear me but it was about how can some sweet innocent girl and how she turned into the person that close the door behind me
That girl, the one who I love first
How can something so innocent can turn into something that I least expected
Was it the lies? Was it that I didn't care enough or didn't show the care I really feel?
I have been hurt before but not like this
I created this disaster but I want to fix it but I just don't know how
I dug myself into a hole that I couldn't get out
Maybe I should have appreciated your company more
Looking back, I wasn't the best at being there when you needed me the most so I am sorry
Whoever you end up being with next, let them not make the same mistakes I have done
No self-pity would make anything better to you or anyone around me
I don't know how much I really hurt you so don't hold a grudge
Maybe there is someone out there who will take care of you better
Lingering in the past, don't look back
Grow from it and learn from it
All I can do now is let you be happy
So let this be good-bye
I will miss you and love you still
But I just need to learn live without you...
Love,
J.V
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I had a lover, too, once. 9 and half years ago. We had a very good relationship, though. We loved each other more than anyone could possibly imagine. However, she was sick; she had Cystic Fibrosis. It was terminal. And to make matters worse, her abusive and neglectful parents hated me.
She died July 8th, 2003, 5 days before my 20th birthday, and about a month after her 18th birthday. She died without me there.
2 years later, in 2005 I received a letter from her; the last letter she would've ever written to me, telling me that she was in the hospital, and dying. Telling me to be strong, and that she would wait forever. And that she always loved me, and only me. And that it would always be me. No matter what. She told me to make sure to find someone else to love again, because that's what she wanted for me. But that she was not going to live much longer.
The letter was dated July 2nd, 2003. Written 6 days before she died.
---
My point?
Perhaps you should send it. Because the "one letter you couldn't send", might one day end up becoming "the final letter you ever wrote to her that you never sent".
Don't let that happen.